Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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