You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
