Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
