scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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