Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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