HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
