Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
