no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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