3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm like, not good at living.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize