I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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