I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
