Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
