When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
