You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize