No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
