this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
