Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm gonna fight the coyote
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
