She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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