The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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