I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
