we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize