i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
