I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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