i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
