i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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