READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
