drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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