I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
