nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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