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I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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