got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
