I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
