I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
