I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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