Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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