chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
