she was so not down for the gang bang
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize