I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
