Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

Fav 113 2089 11353
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(720): View more from Colorado

You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.

Fav 17 4972 1379
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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(847): View more from Illinois

he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak

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(309): View more from Illinois

It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

Fav 5 2297 1474
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(518): View more from New York

we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

Fav 5 1609 742
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

Fav 1 1140 545
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(361): View more from Texas

Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.

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