I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
