It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
