this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
