im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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