i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
