So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
