operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
