Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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