Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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