great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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