At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm both gender and math confused
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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