4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
