Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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