dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
