fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
