its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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