I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
