I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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