I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
