Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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