U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
please come you make the beer taste better
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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