I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
