Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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