i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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