please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
