Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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