Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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