I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
