you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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