And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
