heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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