she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
