so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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