I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
