She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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