making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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