you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
