I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
