so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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