As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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